And I know that all of you agree with me here. I cannot do anything right in life, simply anything. Everything is going wrong, it ends badly or ends worse. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Full of dreams, full of hope once back, but all shattered one by one these recent weeks.
Months back when I still had my old girl friend. I felt secure about my life. Assured that everything would go right. I felt the way that I have
On his way to school
never felt since then, backed up by someone I know would never leave my side no matter what happens and no matter what state in life I’m in. She came when I needed someone the most. Not specifically love, but a shoulder to lean on. Her arrival was exactly when I was on the downside of my early years here in the Philippines, when my innocent mind has fooled around and led to my repition of a whole year in high school during my junior years. Yes, I repeated because of my addiction to computer games.
My longingness for something that I could not define nor find anywhere, until she, the bright shining star came along. She lived across bodies of water back in Metro Manila; while I resided and still breathe from Davao City, Philippines. It was merely impossible and despicable to continue such a relationship and have it going for almost two years.
The day came in late 2008 when I messed up our relationship. It came to a blurry ending with no official breakup. We parted ways because of my foolishness and the interferance of my friends. I didn’t know back then what I was doing, but only knew that I wanted to led go of her so badly that I just stopped communicating with her in a sudden, stopped thinking of her, stopped talking about her and stopped anything and everything in relation to her.
I found love with someone new then, someone from my town. I loved her more than I’ve used to love myself again. But I experienced something classified as a Karma. She fooled me not just once, not just twice, inclusive an in the face denial that she has a relationship with me. Or something considerably labled as “landian” act with one of my closest friends.
It’s just one of the many problems and things that are bugging my mind right now and driving me insane. I feel like I’m such a looser. I mistake the good with the bad and live a unfortunate life. I always draw the shorter in whatever aspect you’d like to take it. My real mother is far away from me, livining in Cebu. I haven’t met her since a couple of years now and talking to her is only applicable in my dreams, I’ve spent less than five minutes these past five years in talking with her on the phone. Could you imagine that? And I haven’t met her since 7 years or so.
My life is so loopsided that I always play the blacksheep, the unlucky pal, the one being abused. I have been passing this characteristics onward to the people that I love. I have hurt many, and it comes back to me in multiple forms. Even when I tried to place a good shot.
Not only does failure reigns in the department of love and relationships with the people around me, but like stated above in academic aspects as well. But have I mentioned already how abused I am by the people around me who only take, take and take, but never return a thing?
There are a lot of events that I could label that suggest that I’m destined to be always the second option in someone’s heart, always the second option when someone needs accompaniment, and always the first, when there’s no one else around. The only few persons in the whole wide world that make me feel special are my girl friend, a close friend of mine, a special friend and my best friend. I could include the names of parents as well but that is really common sense…to be continued..
About Georg Kevin
Bro,
There are times when you're on top. And when you're on bottom. Your childhood and present youth just shows that you're at the BOTTOM of your life, but there's a rainbow always after the rain. And no matter how many suggestions and ideas we throw in here, everything is still up to you, what you want, what you think is best. That's why advices are defined also as suggestions, some wise words that you might take under consideration.
Now listen, Pinoy Teens is a great blog, keep going with it. Continue the network you planned, it doesn't happen all at once, I know you can remember how hard it was for you during the starting days to get things going, and you have to do so again to achieve whatever you want to achieve in life (a note in advance, because surely part two will be about blogs)
Lastly, get rid of that Grace Anne, she's too far, you have a girl friend. And she doesn't likes you. I know that, she's just keeping you in her accompaniment because she has no one better to find right now, ikaw daw be, hugawan, kinsa ganahan muuban nimo? She's simply a bitch. period.
.. you don't have to make your self very down. like
these times.. wg mxado mgisip at damdamin.
kaya moh yan kuyaa! nag kataon lng n sby sby
yan pro you can get through out that…
I wonder why I have to be at the bottom for so many years. My mother is out of sight for so many years. My friends are not real friends but only close when they need something (most of them). The blog's traffic is going down and down and down and all other aspects as well. I don't know if I can really go anywhere with that.
Grace Anne? I didn't say anything from Grace Anne in that article (but anyways she was indeed part of the planned second post that is still in draft here) *nanosebleed ko sa english nimu dong*
I don't know.
I don't know if I can make it through this.
I'm full of drawing the shorter and being the failure
aww. don't be.
pray lang. you can get through that.
i also feel what you feel sometimes, pero you have to be strong.
well, this is life.. we have to go with the flow..
problems meant to strenghten us, not to weaken us.
so wag masyadong i-down ang sarili.
Isang bagay na lagi rin niyang sinasabi ay sasabihin ko na rin sayo. Ang drama mo. No, hindi naman sa O.A, pero hindi bagay sa isang kagaya mong hindi sumusuko sa anumang labanna bigla nalang sumusuko sa ganitong laban. Laban pa ba yan? Eh bigla nalang ikaw mag give-up. It's not your time to shine yet, and you had your taste of fame in 2008 already.
You took things too easy and carelessly during the entrance of 2009, that's why you're so down right now. And yes, you might have exerted much effort, but it's not enough or it's simply that it's really not your time right now.
Get rid of her; by the way.
I won't trash talk you, but warn you to take care. Alam mo naman, mahihirapan ka lang kung tuluyan ka mahulog. Self control. It's nice to have a new friend, and by that a new close friend. But don't take it too far. It's either you succeed or you face defeat.
Wala nang mas-KEEN pa sa huling sentence ng pinsan ko, it's clear to see!
Do we have to repeat ourselves for I don't know how many times already? Get rid of her.
According to your latest posts, it's getting better. But you continue insisting on the worse. Dumb ass.
I won't get rid of her. I'm proud to be a close friend to her
(even if I'm in doubt she feels the same way too) that's not what matters, if you give something, you should not expect something in return, but it would be nice to get some love back :p
C'mon, ang bitter mo talaga Princess. Wag ganyan.
That's what I mean, "special" feelings lang yan sa simula, but in the next few weeks, let's see.
Hindi ka tae para sa akin (hugs)
Kayong tatlo tae para sa akin. (punches)
Agree ako diyan sayo. Hahayaan na nga lang natin ang tangang iyan.