I feel totally different from how I felt last year. It is this unpleasant feeling of degrading from a classy hip blogger into a sour loser in blogoshpere as days, weeks, eventually months pass by adding even more burden and load on my shoulders.

I can’t say that I have become a bit careless about my blogging throughout the year, even if I have neglected it at times. Something a bit far fetched has been bugging me, not recently, but already from the beginning of the year, girls.

With that, there have been three major names that played a great role in my 2009 so far. Graceanne, Daizel and Rhea.Three girls who played three different roles but provided a common outcome for me, headache. There’s been the time when I fooled some, times when I was played, moments of happiness and moments of sorrow and disappointment. Mixed emotions that I’m not really used to. Just a little mix of all of these, and I got carried away. Concentrating on the less important things in life than rather continue my flaghship blog to develop into what could have been a huge community by now.

I have maddened several people throughout the year, some were mad at me due to my behavior, others just don’t like me that much and seek irrelevant excuses to let me know how they feel and think about me. I’ve got nothing to do against it, but eventually do my best and try to change for the better, change my attitude, the way I deal with people, and so.

As part of the SEA Change Movement as a Youth Partner, I want to start over. I want to start the change with myself. I want to become the happy guy I was before I met the two girls that dealt the most impact on me this year. I miss the times when I cry hearing some emotional song, I miss the times when I remember happy moments with my friends because I’ve got barely any moment this year. I miss everything that I don’t have right now, and to be honest, I think I don’t have anything right now that I could feel satisfied with.

Well, this should be something new, don’t you think?

I hope that all of you will erase the bad experiences that you had with me, and give me the chance to show that I’m better than your analysis. I’ll be starting over, right here, right now.